A teen guide to staying safe online

February 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Sometimes, it seems to be impossible to get our children to take our advice. They tend to listen to their peers more than they listen to us… Here’s a guide we found on BBC News with words of advice from teens for teens on some important online safety issues:

 

Pupils from Chislehurst and Sidcup Grammar School

Pupils working on their reports about being safe online.

Staying safe online is an important issue for young people using the internet, with cyberbullying becoming an increasingly serious problem.

To coincide with Safer Internet Day on 7 February, School Reporters at Chislehurst & Sidcup Grammar investigated some of the safety issues which affect young people online.

Have a read of their top tips to staying safe and out of trouble when you’re on the web.

 

SOCIAL NETWORKS

 

By Josie, 13

Facebook is one of the most popular social networking sites with over 800 million people online – lots of them people our age.

With people posting and ‘liking’ everyday, it is a great way to share what you’re doing with your friends. But are they all friends?

People can hold fake accounts, pretending to be someone they’re not. This may seem scary but there are some things you can do. Safety on Facebook is very important, but do you really know how to stay safe using social networks?

First thing to do is check your privacy settings – making sure you know what you’re showing to the general public. Some status updates and pictures could attract these ‘fakers’.

 Never agree to meet people that you’ve never met in real life 

You can change this setting so only your friends can see, with just one click of your mouse.

Accounts can be hacked into if you have a weak password, so make sure your password is one which only you know. This can cause ‘fakers’ to pretend and write posts in your name.

To avoid this, have a strong password that includes numbers or symbols. You can check if people hacked your Facebook account by checking your statuses. Changing your password often, also helps.

Never agree to meet people that you’ve never met in real life. This could be dangerous, as that 14-year-old boy could be an old grandpa! To avoid this don’t agree to meet up, no matter how good it may seem and always tell your parents!

 

HACKING

 

By Jack, 12

You need to be very careful when you are online because criminals can hack your computer really easily.

Always protect your data. Criminals are most likely to hack websites when you enter a credit card number in.

Children at Chiselhurst and Sidcup Grammar School

Pupils working on their online safety guides

If you do buy a product online, then you should use a ‘Single-Use’ account which is located on most websites. This is when your card details are deleted straight after payment.

Also avoid buying products from sites that you don’t know. Only buy products online from sites that you trust.

And always remember that even if a site says ‘secure’ and starts with https: it means that it is harder to hack, but not impossible to hack.

 

PERSONAL INFORMATION

 

By Millie, 12

Keep details such as your full name, address, mobile number, email address, school name and friends full names secret.

Otherwise people can use this information to contact you. Your passwords and nicknames should always be secret.

If you have to give an online screen name or nickname, never use your real name, and try not to use things that are easy to guess like your parents name or the name of a pet.

When you send a text or photo message from your mobile, your phone number automatically goes with it.

So think carefully, especially before sending photos of yourself or friends from your camera-phone.

 

DOWNLOADING

 

By Jo, 12

Gaming and technology has really moved on. You can send countless messages as you sit in your chair and play on your console.

Also you can now download games so that they’re ready to play as soon as you click ‘download’. However not all downloads are completely safe – some may contain viruses, and not all messages will be friendly. Here’s what to do if you receive a bad message or virus.

 Always let an adult know if you think you are being cyberbullied 

Check the website that you have downloaded and research its history before you press ‘download’. If it is the official webpage of the download, it should be ok, but you should always check.

Do you know what to do if a user starts hassling you online? Who do you tell? Where can you turn?

Check out the report abuse section of the games website you’re on, or, if you’re on your console playing, make sure you know how to block a user and save the evidence of their abuse. Always let an adult know if you think you are being cyberbullied.

 

CYBERBULLYING

 

By Sienna, 12, Issy, 13, & Marina, 12

Even on the internet bullying can occur. Posting an embarrassing or humiliating video of someone, harassing someone by sending messages or even setting up profiles on social networking sites are all examples of cyberbullying.

No one especially children and teenagers should go through this. Normally the bully may seem big but is actually as scared and shy as the victim. People seem so big over the internet. You don’t really know who is out there or who is behind the profile or screen.

Talk to someone you trust. This could be a teacher, parent or friend. You may even have to change your email address if you’re repeatedly bullied through email.

 You can easily become a bully – stop and think before you write a message 

No matter how horrible the message – do not reply. That is what the bully wants. Instead block instant messages and emails. Ask a parent or teacher for help.

Whatever you think, you’re not alone. There is always someone else who has gone through something like you. In our class at school of 18 pupils, seven have been cyberbullied and 12 know someone who has experienced it.

In terms of instant messaging, it is very easy to say something that you wouldn’t say in real life. You can easily become a bully. Stop and think before you write a message. Think of the consequences. How would you feel in that situation?

 
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5 Internet Safety Lessons to Consider

February 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Unfortunately, it’s not just the outside people that are trying to harm that causes online safety issues… Our children sometimes act in ways by which they put themselves at risk. Here are 5 great tips for you to consider that were posted on Huff Post Parents Blog:

We started our undercover work in search of online predators back in 1999, when the web was hardly as social — and hardly as dangerous — a place as it is today.

Chatrooms were our major focus at that point, because they weren’t monitored, and because adult subject matter was easily accessible.

Whenever we ventured into the dark and seamy realm of the chat world, we always seemed to find someone breaking the law and taking advantage of a child, or what they thought was a child. And we found the perpetrators in a matter of minutes.

Shortly after we started working on these cases, NBC’sDateline aired “To Catch a Predator,” and this helped shine a negative light on online predators. Parents became panic-stricken, and online safety became a major concern in families and schools all across the nation.

As law enforcement officers, we didn’t want to add to the anxiety. Instead, we wanted to be part of the solution, to help teach and promote online responsibility.

But one of the most striking things we found through our investigations was the fact that children, themselves, were behaving in ways that put them at risk. Using this information, we then tried to teach kids how to navigate the Internet safely, how to give them the knowledge and power to feel protected whenever they were online.

Technology continued to change over the years, and we saw that more students were interested in communicating through their computers via Instant Messaging (IM). Setting up an IM account also included the ability to create an “Online Profile.” I think this is when the technology industry realized that there was an interest in moving the web to a more social environment.

Shortly after this, MySpace became the hottest way for people to connect online and create their own digital identity. I remember getting phone calls and requests to talk to students and parents about MySpace. The concern was that parents didn’t know about this form of communication; and they feared that their kids were spending too much time online on MySpace.

As with all great inventions, there’s always going to be someone out there who exploits it.

And so we started seeing cases where children were meeting strangers online through this emerging social media. There were also cases that involved bullying and cyber-bullying.

There was so much negative press around MySpace, and the problems associated with it, that, after seeing a news report on the site, I used to tell my fellow officers: “I’m going to get a call from a school today.” And, sure enough, I would.

This kept me pretty busy; but I always felt bad for the parents, because they lacked an understanding of the technology, and how to make it useful without it being a threat.

Over time, MySpace popularity dropped; to some extent, I think this was because Mom and Dad were scared and started monitoring — or blocking — their kids’ activity on the site.

People eventually left MySpace for Facebook.

One of the reasons for this migration, in my opinion, was that Facebook originally required you to have a college email address, so it wasn’t available for everyone. This gave kids more freedom online from prying parents.

But, again, I started to get calls from parents. The big question was: “What is Facebook, and why are my kids spending so much time there?”

Today, social media rules the web.

I don’t care who you are, but I’m sure you either have an email address, LinkedIn account, or Facebook or Twitter account. You’re living on the social web, and it’s important to maintain a positive image of yourself and be more responsible with your identity in this rapidly expanding digital environment.

This form of technology clearly isn’t going away. And, as a result, we need to focus on teaching children how to stay safe and protect their privacy and reputations on social networks. We also need to give parents the solutions and tools to monitor their kids’ social web activities. Parents are able to watch over their kids in the real world; now we must help them oversee their children in the digital world.

Here are five lessons learned that I have gathered over the years I believe crucial for parents — and their kids — to consider:

  • Concerns over online predators: Although the risk of encountering an online predator may be low, the risk is there. To help lower the risk, children should only communicate with people they know from the non-online. Predators can pretend to be someone they are not, (like another child) and may show up in places where children like to play online.
  • Cyberbullying: Children should only give their passwords to mom and dad. They should never share their passwords with their friends. Children will give their passwords to friends though in the following instances: a friend may be better at an online game and can earn them credits to purchase online goods; they may have a friend whose parents don’t allow them on the same sites as your child so they let them borrow their site. The problem is this: Those who are your friends today, may not be your friend tomorrow. These ex-friends now have your password. And if you are like many people who only have one password for all your accounts, now they have access to them as well. These ex-friends can now log into your accounts, pretend to be you, and start vicious rumors and turn your other friends against you.
  • How to teach responsibility: Parents should teach their children to never post hurtful comments and/or say anything that may be offensive. If anyone should post such comments on their page, they should remove them immediately. If you wouldn’t say it in person, you shouldn’t say it online.
  • Geotagging/Geolocations services: Parents and children need to know what the capabilities are of the devices they use. If you have a Smartphone, iPod, iPad or any wireless device that can take pictures, you should turn off the location services for the camera. Location services turned “On” with the camera will embed a “Geotag” with the latitude and longitude of where the person was standing at the time they took the photo and/or video. If these images are then posted online via Facebook or any other site, someone can locate them based on the geotag.
  • Social Networking settings: Make sure you check your Privacy Settings on any social media site at least once a month. Sites are always making changes and these changes may take your settings and set them back to the default, which may not be as secure as you originally set them.

I tell people that if you’re going to live your life like an open book online, people are going to read it.

And that’s why — more than a decade after starting my quest for greater Internet safety — I continue to do all that I can to protect kids and educate parents when it comes to the Web.

In conclusion, I feel strongly that parents must take this issue seriously today; and they must step up and monitor their children on social networks. The bottom line here is that the social web is simply not a game or a toy.

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Young Girls are Target of Online Predators

February 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Be sure to take a look at this report, including the video! If you are letting your kids have a computer/ webcam in their own room, you should act now! There are predators out there who target young girls to get them to take their clothes off. Don’t let your child be their next target!

Los Angeles – “Jailbait” is slang for a girl too young to have legal sex. It’s also the name of a dangerous game spreading on video chat websites.

The goal: Get young girls to take off their clothes while secretly recording them on webcam.

Gina Silva reports on “Jailbait Game” players who openly declare — and this is how one of them put it — “we’re coming for your daughters.”

Jailbait Game Targets Young Girls: MyFoxLA.com – VIDEO REPORT

Want to know how you can protect your kids from predators online? Click here for our Tech Ninja’s four simple things you can do.

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Parental stalking online is not the best solution

February 8, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We cannot put enough emphasis on the importance of TALKING to your child about online security. Some parents may think it is enough to stalk their children online, but cyber safety experts warn parents about the downfalls of stalking: Aside from abusing teens’ privacy, it also forges coded forms of communication online, using in-jokes, shared references and even song lyrics to evade parental scrutiny. Read the article below that we found on Theage.com.au:

 

PARENTS should not stalk their children online, warns Dr Danah Boyd, a leading US cyber safety expert visiting Australia to lecture on teens’ online privacy.

Described by The New York Times last month as ”a rock star emissary from the online and offline world of teenagers”, the 34-year-old New York University professor and Harvard researcher advises governments, corporations and organisations worldwide on teen communication. She is leading Microsoft’s investigation of child trafficking online, and Lady Gaga funds her bullying research through the Born This Way Foundation.

But Dr Boyd warns that constant parental online surveillance not only abuses teens’ privacy but also obliges them to forge coded forms of communication online, using in-jokes, shared references and even song lyrics to evade parental scrutiny.

”The kind of public life we see online has never existed before,” Dr Boyd told Fairfax Media ahead of her lecture at RMIT on Thursday. ”But it’s a myth that teens don’t care about privacy. It’s really impressive what teens do to find new ways to be private in public.”

When so many cyber studies warn parents of the dangers of the internet, Dr Boyd has become the voice in favour of letting children log on and learn for themselves.

”Children’s ability to roam has been destroyed,” she says. By demonising the internet, we shut down the only social space they have left. ”Being a successful adult in society requires social skills. And we desperately need to give youth space to learn them,” she said.

As the Victorian Privacy Commissioner polls Victorian teens about ”sexting” – sending revealing photos as texts – Dr Boyd supports calls for the laws classifying these photos as child pornography to be scrapped. She will be comparing US and Australian sexting laws in a study with University of New South Wales professor Kate Crawford.

”I have nothing against taking a legal stance against harassing and blackmail, but why prosecute the kids who are taking the pictures?”

She has described the pressure on parents to supervise their children’s internet habits as ”an arms race” between surveillance technology and privacy software to cloak activities.

”As kids work to be invisible to people who hold direct power over them (parents, teachers, etc), they happily expose themselves to audiences of peers,” Dr Boyd writes on her blog. ”And they expose themselves to corporations. They know that the company can see everything they send through their servers/service, but who cares? Until these companies show clear allegiance with their parents, they’re happy to assume that the companies are on their side and can do them no harm.”

Parents who want to help their children navigate an online social minefield need to educate and communicate, not berate, restrict or panic, Dr Boyd said. ”The way forward is to have open conversations, to really have a dialogue of trust … if you engage in surveillance and break that trust, you’ll teach them not to talk to you.”

In her work for the Internet Safety Technical Task Force of US state attorneys-general in 2008, Dr Boyd found the children most at risk of harm online – through cyber bullying or contact with predators – were the ones most at risk offline. Youth workers and educators should be trained to look for signs online that a teen was in trouble, Dr Boyd said, rather than assume the internet was the cause.

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What is your Internet Safety IQ?

February 7, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Take the test and find out about the things that you need to learn to keep up with your child and also become a valuable resource to your kids in all things “online safety”. The test covers many aspects of online security such as Social Networks, Online Gaming, Mobile Devices as well as Film, TV and Music.

Copyright UK Safer Internet Centre website.

©UK Safer Internet Centre

(Click on the image to take the test on the UK Safer Internet Centre website.)

Have your whole Family take the fun test and find out who’s the EXPERT! 🙂

 

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Kids are now using “codes” to hide things from their parents

February 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Just as parents are catching up with technology, our children come up with new things to make our life more difficult: They are writing in “Codes”. Now it’s on us to figure them out! This article will cover some of them, such as: BIH, GNOC, AITR or W2M… If you don’t know what these mean, read the article!!!! Also, please share some of the ones you are aware and help others learn!

In the vast number of places kids can fall into trouble on the web, parents often find it challenging to monitor what their children are doing in cyberspace. This is particularly true as the web increasingly becomes more social.
Over time chat lingo has become a part of the norm when engaging in online conversations, however, these terms rarely remain stagnant as new web speak emerges. Keeping up with all those acronyms can be difficult for parents as try and monitor what their kids are doing, especially if their children actively make an effort to try and mask what they are talking about online. Social network monitoring service SocialShield has released a list of the top terms children are using online. In a press release emailed to Digital Journal, SocialShield’s list “sheds light on the latest lingo kids are using to hold illicit, risky or secretive conversations.” The list was released this past week and includes several ‘codes’ kids use that their parents likely don’t know – and should. According to SocialShield,

“These little-known codes are part of a new lexicon being formed by children—and those who might prey on children—to communicate with each other in ways that most adults wouldn’t understand.”

The list was compiled through an analysis of commonly “flagged” terms pegged by SocialShield’s cloud-based monitoring engines which pick out terms that might be risky, illicit or dangerous. SocialShield has categorized social media terms in six different categories which are: cyberbullying, warning of parents in the room, conversations sexual in nature, cries for help, drugs and drinking, and requests to meet in person.
For many years now teens have turned to socialization online as a way to meet up with their peers and interact. However, now that parents are friending their kids on Facebook and other networks, in their eyes, this may have crossed too far over the line of what’s cool. Consider a hangout or house where parents or other adults are constantly present, teens are more likely to go to hang out in places, well, where their parents aren’t.
In response to being connected to adults online, kids may actively seek ways to slip under their parents’ radar. For instance, recently an interesting trend emerged that indicated teens were migrating to Twitterin order to escape the eyes of the adults in their lives and try and increase their privacy in virtual spaces. Other teens that are posting under the eyes of their parents are taking a different approach by adapting new lingo that their parents are not versed in.

“Many parents think friending their child on social networks is enough to monitor their activities and protect them, yet time and time again it’s shown that it isn’t,” said George Garrick, CEO of SocialShield. “Most parents don’t have the time to keep up with the sheer volume of interactions or have the understanding of the online language to really get what their kids are saying or what people are saying to their kids. This makes it really easy for problems to go unnoticed,” said Garrick.

SocialShield says the more parents connect with their kids on networks, the more frequently new terms pop up. A sampling of the top ‘coded’ terms highlighted by SocialShield in each of their six categories included:
  • Cyberbullying Terms: BIH (“Burn In Hell”); GKY (“Go Kill Yourself”); 182 (“I Hate You”)
  • Warning of Parents/Adults Nearby: POS (“Parent Over Shoulder”); AITR (“Adult In The Room”); P911 (“Parent Emergency”)
  • Sexual Terms: GNOC (“Get Naked On Cam”); TDTM (“Talk Dirty To Me”); D46 (“Down For Sex?”) • Cries for Help: IHML (“I Hate My Life”); IHTFP (“I Hate This F–king Place”); PHM (“Please Help Me”) 
  • Drugs/Drinking Terms: CRAFT (“Can’t Remember A F–king Thing”); UDI (“Unidentified Drinking Injury”
  • Meet Up Requests: MIRL (“Meet In Real Life?”); W2M (“Want To Meet?”); S2R (“Send To Receive” [Pictures]
Parents are best armed through educating themselves to keep up with current Internet trends. The terms listed are said by SocialShield to be text lingo parents should be aware of their kids potentially using. The service also continuously updates the program’s dictionary of terms as it scans social network interactions. Social Shield’s full list of terms:

Screen shot from SocialShield’s Facebook page of commonly used ‘secret words’ teens use on social networks that parents should be aware of

Read more at Digitaljournal.com

 

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Top 10 Tips for Online Game Safety

February 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Our children are growing up in an age of technology. As we all know there are many benefits to it, but unfortunately some downfalls as well… If your child is into all the new technologies, chances are they will participate in online gaming. Be sure to read these tips to protect your kids – and feel free to share with us how make sure your kids are safe! Here are the top 10 tips according to Gametheoryonline.com:


At first glance, the Internet’s online virtual world seems like a vast, untamed frontier. That’s not a bad comparison. The ‘net is a wondrous and hugely useful tool for learning and entertainment, including playing games, but it can also be a pretty rough place for kids to dwell if they don’t stay within certain boundaries.

Simply forbidding your child to go online is not an option either: The Internet is an extremely important reservoir of knowledge, and is as culturally and materially relevant as televisions, phones and libraries in a modern sociological context. Rather than attempt to ban online usage, parents should instead establish safe browsing habits in their home and instill them in their children as soon as possible.

When we prepare our kids for the outside world, we tell them not to take presents from strangers, and to look both ways before crossing the street. In the online world, the same common sense rules apply. Here and 10 hints and tips for online gaming safety that can help you keep kids safe while enjoying their favorite free, downloads and massively multiplayer online (MMO) games, not to mention ensure a more enjoyable Internet multiplayer experience for all.

Never Share Personal Data and Information Online: This is one of the most important keys to helping kids stay safe on the Internet (and it’s a good bit of advice for adults, too). Parents should warn their children that personal information such as name, address, age, etc. should never be given out to strangers through email, chat clients, instant messages or any other means. Birthdays, locations and personal preferences can all be used to facilitate fraud or identity theft, while criminals, thieves and sexual predators can also take advantage of personal info to plan crimes, locate victims and fool unsuspecting innocents. Bear in mind: Even a seemingly innocent status update on Facebook, Twitter or a favorite MMO about your impending trip to Hawaii can act as a billboard to potential robbers, letting them know when you’ll be away and your house and valuables left unguarded.

Monitor Computer Time and Usage: By placing computers or consoles in public home areas such as the living room, and spending time together online playing games, parents can get a better idea of their kid’s browsing habits and hangouts. It’s much harder to hide unhealthy activity when you’re familiar with children’s preferences and preferred venues, and able to keep an active eye on their PC or video game system usage patterns.

Employ Kid-Friendly Internet Web Browser Add-ons: Add-ons (downloadable programs) for popular web browsers such as Internet Explorer, Chrome and Firefox, e.g. KidZui and Glubble, can quickly be installed to make Internet browsing safe and fun. These add-ons – which can filter questionable sites and videos, block inappropriate online content, and limit access to parent, teacher and educator approved resources – are easy to find, simple to use, and give parents peace of mind while their kids browse the Internet. As children mature and learn better online habits, switching back to regular browsing is as simple as inputting a password.

Set Time Limits: Especially for very young children, it’s a good idea to establish specific times when computer usage is allowed, preferably when parents can keep an eye on what’s being done. Generally, kids and young teens shouldn’t be on the computer when the rest of the family is asleep, especially on a school night, or using it for hours on end when they should be doing homework instead. Thankfully, most Mac and Windows PC operating systems allow you to set hours on which certain users are permitted to use the computer. If said user tries to gain access during a forbidden hour, he or she will be barred and logged out automatically. Setting specific time limits can also foster healthy dialogue amongst parents and kids, helping all encourage a healthier lifestyle and better balance of leisure activities.

Educate Yourself: There are a great deal of free online games, virtual worlds and multiplayer gaming amusements on the Internet, but not all of them are appropriate for kids. As ever, an ounce of prevention outweighs a pound of cure, as firsthand knowledge is a parent’s most powerful tool in the battle to enable Internet safety and promote healthy online gaming habits. So do yourself a favor: Get to know what your child is playing, and familiarize yourself with the game’s safety rules. Most online virtual words have a “For Parents” section that outlines moderation policies, and some online games even let parents hook up their own accounts to their kids’ accounts so that parents can moderate playtime. Learning more about your children’s favorite games won’t just better equip you to handle the challenges that come with online gaming. It also provides a ready excuse to spend time with your kids over a positive bonding activity that all can enjoy, and better understand their personal preferences, motivations and interests.

Talk About Safe Online Spending: Many digital diversions from MMOs to virtual worlds and free to play online games offer special items and exclusive levels for a small, optional fee on the back-end. (These bite-sized digital impulse buys, known as “microtransactions,” are primarily how most free online games fund their projects). Talk to your kids about online spending, and make sure they understand both how it works, and that they need your permission before making purchases.

Use Parental Controls: Most PCs, Internet browsers and video game systems offer easy-to-use Parental Controls software settings that can restrict a child’s usage of these devices and help keep them away from unsightly or questionable content. Check your PC’s control panel, or your web browser or video game console’s Settings and/or Preferences for more information on these features.

Supervise Online, Multiplayer and Real-World Interaction: The Internet is remarkable in that it lets us make friends from around the world, and connect and play with them in real-time. Occasionally, luckier players even get to hold a real-life meeting with the buddies they make online. These meetings are a thrill, but they should never happen without a third party at-hand to make sure everything turns out safe – and that advice extends to adults meeting online friends for the first time, too. Should you wish to avoid strangers entirely, many games also provide options to turn off voice and text chat, and limit online play to pre-approved friend lists. Suffice it to say that in many cases, levels of online multiplayer interaction, and resulting real-world contact, can be custom tailored to your personal level of comfort. Any instances of questionable, immoral or abusive online behavior can also be reported to online moderations and authorities, who provide in-game supervision.

Investigate Digital Gifts and Suspicious Activities: Online shopping lets us order cool stuff from around the world, including virtual goods that only exist on the computer and thousands of real-world treats that can be sent to friends using retailers like Amazon.com. But if your child suddenly starts receiving odd messages, communications at strange hours and/or email from strangers – let alone packages from unfamiliar addresses or gift boxes from online stores without first consulting you about a purchase – it’s best to look into the source. Caution is, as ever, the watchword.

Above All Else, Communicate with Kids: Be open and talk to your child about his or her online adventures. Discuss the websites he or she likes to visit, ask about the friends they make, and address any questions or concerns he or she may have. Don’t be afraid to discuss difficult issues such as cyberbullying, heated arguments and handling queries from total strangers as well. Avoid being judgmental: The goal is to foster open and constructive dialogue that leads to better understanding and communication on both sides of the table. After all, when it comes to the Internet’s vast and uncharted online world, for both parents and kids alike, you can never be too prepared.

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The pre-teen Facebook dilemma

February 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Facebook allows children above 13 to create an account… But we constantly come across profiles of people that are below that limit. While there are many heated discussions going on about the positive and negative aspects of Facebook and debates about it being a “good site” for kids, a recent survey showed that 78 percent of the parents either know or approve of their underage kids getting onto Facebook… What is your opinion? Is it right for parents to “lead by example” by breaking the rules??? Read the article from Pittsburghlive.com and tell us what you think…

 

In a recent girls’ group led by Melissa Sullivan at Eden Hall Upper Elementary School, the fifth-grade girls, ages 10 and 11, mainly wanted to talk about something they’re not supposed to know much about: Facebook.

Several of them already have profiles.

Pre-teens are supposed to be barred from setting up accounts, but reality differs. According to Facebook rules, users must be at least 13. But, when kids need only to fudge their birth date, getting on Facebook can be easy.

Sometimes, parents help their underage kids open an account, Sullivan says. Other kids sneak to open an account, sometimes under an alias, and hope their parents don’t find out. Sullivan sees many kids — more girls than boys — who are either on Facebook or trying to convince their parents to let them on. Parents often give in to the peer pressure because of older siblings and other family members on Facebook, and they don’t want their younger kids to miss out on the fun.

Not a great idea for all

Let the younger kids miss out, advises Sullivan, counselor at the Gibsonia school, where kids attend weekly lessons about bullying and other stresses. The dangers and downsides of Facebook far eclipse the benefits for pre-teen kids, she says, and even younger teens who join the social-networking site are opening a Pandora’s box.

“Are fifth-graders emotionally mature and equipped enough to handle the world of Facebook? My answer is a resounding no,” she says. “Even 13-year-olds, I think, are too young.”

Pre-teens and young teens tend to be impulsive and lack discretion about what is appropriate to post, Sullivan says. Think about your own school days and how mean kids can be, and add in the power of the Internet. That catty note you passed to a friend in sixth-grade now is an electronic post that numerous kids can see, resulting in humiliation for someone.

According to a recent study of more than 1,000 parents who have kids ages 10 to 14 living with them, 78 percent of the parents either knew or approved of their underage kids getting onto Facebook.

Jason Schultz, co-author of the study published in November 2011 in the “First Monday” online journal, says he wasn’t surprised by the results. However, he says that the minimum-age Facebook rule forces parents and kids to lie about their age.

The rule resulted from the federal Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, which requires commercial websites to obtain parental consent before collecting data from children under 13. Facebook opted to avoid dealing with laws about parental consent and privacy protections by setting 13 as the minimum age, Schultz says.

Facebook officials in California did not respond to a request for an interview.

Who makes the rules anyway?

Parents, not the government or a website, should be deciding the rules for their children, and parents should be flexible, Schultz says. Denying kids Facebook access can create a power struggle.

“The more we can encourage parents to work with their children instead of against them when it comes to new technologies … over the long term, we’re going to have better parent-child relationships,” says Schultz, an assistant clinical professor of law at the University of California at Berkeley. “It’s very unfortunate that parents are put in this position. No parent wants to encourage their child to lie.”

Sullivan disagrees. She sees many students who are devastated by bullying or other stress from actions on Facebook. Parents should protect and simplify their children’s lives by not allowing Facebook use until the kids are teens.

She urges parents faced with the argument –“But everyone else is doing it” — to respond with: “I need to take care of you, and I know it’s difficult to be left out. If you’re a good, kind friend, people will want to be your friend whether you’re on Facebook or not.”

Missy Kurpakus of Sarver, has two teens — Kasey, 17, and Keegan, 16 — who are on Facebook. But neither of her younger girls — Corinne, 13, and Chloe, 11 — are allowed to join yet.

“I’ve just seen too much trouble with middle schoolers with it,” says Kurpakus, 44, who works as a physical education and health teacher in Natrona Heights. “Children will say very nasty things and post things that they shouldn’t.”

Jenifer Amundson, 45, of Greensburg, and her husband, Jon, allowed their daughter, Rachel, on to Facebook when she was still 12. But she was nearing the end of sixth grade, which is middle school in the Greensburg Salem School District. The Amundsons carefully instructed Rachel, now 13, about what is appropriate and inappropriate to post.

“As long as we, as parents, discuss the limits and expectations … Facebook can be used as a positive way of communication,” Jenifer Admundson says. She, herself, doesn’t use Facebook, the concept of which she calls ridiculous. “We, as adults, have to monitor and really be clear.

“Can you imagine those notes you used to pass around in middle school … being posted out there for all to see?”

However, Admundson cautions parents: After the Facebook genie comes out of the bottle, you can’t put it back.

“If my husband and I had to do this all over again, I would not have said OK to this,” she says. Her fifth-grade son, Reid, 10, is not interested in Facebook. “I truly don’t think these children are ready cognitively, emotionally and socially.

“Now, I could not take my daughter’s Facebook away.”

 

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FBI offers Web Safety Tips

January 31, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Unfortunety, our kids can be an easy target for predator’s. Often it comes down to parents recogniting a change in behavior to indicate that their child may have become a victim of online predators: 

ABINGTON —

Marked increase in Internet use. Online chat shifting to a cell phone. A normally open child being quiet and secretive.

If parents see this behavior, they should sit up and take notice, as their child might be falling victim to an online predator, an FBI expert on cyber criminals said on Monday.

“It’s safe to say that there are people out there right now targeting children in our area,” said FBI Special Agent Scott Durivage.

His words came after a then-Abington teacher and coach targeted students last year on Facebook, was fired, and is now serving three years of probation after pleading guilty in Brockton District Court to three counts of sexual conduct for a fee.

The case against Jon J. O’Keefe began when the victims came forward and reported his inappropriate behavior.

Durivage said it is important for victims to “find someone they trust, and let them know time is of the essence because forensic evidence may not be out there long.”

O’Keefe, who was serving at the time as the boys’ tennis coach and substitute history teacher, was fired in May when students came forward after being propositioned by him.

The 31-year-old Waltham resident offered to buy students alcohol, said he would pay them for sex, and agreed to write a letter of recommendation in return for sexual favors, according to a police report filed in the court.

O’Keefe contacted the victims through Facebook and text messages, telling them to delete any messages from him after their conversations, authorities said. He originally claimed his Facebook account had been hacked.

Read the full article including the FBI’s web safety tips here.

 

 

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Facebook Safety for Kids

January 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Having anti-virus software, parental controls and other tools in place is a start to protecting your children from the evils on the internet… But there’s nothing more important than educating your children about the threats that are out there… Because no matter how hard you try, you can’t always keep an eye on them. Therefore, it’s best if THEY know what to do, and even more so, what NOT to do… Read the suggestions we found on Mother Nature Network:

Thanks to Facebook, “friend” has become a verb. It’s no wonder, then, that even the youngest children know about the social media site – and many who should not be already are a part of it. For that reason, and others, Facebook safety for kids has become an important topic.

According to a Consumer Reports survey published in the magazine’s June 2011 issue, more than one third of Facebook’s 20 million minor users (i.e. people under age 18) who used the site in the past year were younger than 13, the age in which you are allowed by Facebook to register. More than 5 million of these 7.5 million underage users were age 10 or younger. One million of these children were harassed, threatened or bullied on Facebook in the last year.

What makes these statistics more disturbing is the fact that parents seem ambivalent to the potential dangers. According to the study, just 18 percent of parents “friended” their child age 10 or under on Facebook, while 62 percent of parents were Facebook friends with their 13- or 14-year-old. Essentially, these children were online unsupervised and uninformed, said Paula Bloom, a clinical psychologist in Atlanta who blogs on Huffington Post, and frequently writes and speaks about social media.

“There are things [happening online] that parents don’t understand,” she said. “There have to be boundaries. You have to know what your kids are doing.”

What, then, are the best ways to keep your children safe on Facebook? Bloom offers these tips:

  • Be familiar with the site’s privacy policies. According to the Facebook Help Center’s page for parents and educators, children under age 13 in most countries are prohibited from creating an account. As Facebook knows how old a user is (if he or she enters the right birthdate, of course), the site has different default privacy settings for young users, many of which keep posts by users ages 13-17 visible within the “friends of friends” circle rather than visible to anyone on Facebook, the default adult user setting.
  • Keep the computer in a common area so you are able to see what is happening. Do not allow your child to Facebook chat with a webcam without an adult present.
  • Make sure you are on your child’s list of friends and that you can control your child’s circle of friends on Facebook. “Approve anyone who is going to be a friend of your kid on Facebook,” advised Bloom, adding that often, strangers can appear as “friends of friends” and the child can then think she must approve the friend request.
  • Recognize you will still not know all that your child posts on Facebook, as he can “hide” things from you. So “cultivate a relationship of openness,” Bloom said, which means talk frequently with your kids about Facebook safety, privacy, photo sharing and other online issues like cyber bullying. Do not lecture, Bloom added. “Don’t tell your kid; listen to your kid. We do too much talking.”
  • Get your child’s Facebook password, but tell her you will not use it unless you have probable cause. If she does not obey your Facebook safety rules, you can have her account deleted.

To keep your children safe on Facebook, remember that even though you are their friend on the site, you are their parent in real life, said Bloom. That means you set the rules even if your children balk. “Even if they don’t understand why you are doing something, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it,” she explained. “Tell them, `I’m doing this to keep you safe.’”

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