The Facts on Teens and Sexting

February 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Sexting is becoming more popular. Experts say that it is the parents responsibility to educate their children and let them know about the dangers which can range from damage to their reputation to possible charges for the possession or even distribution of child pornography. Watch the video and see how serious this issue is. Watch the video and read the article we found on NBC26.com.

Click HERE to watch the video.

Green Bay, WI – It’s a shocking trend that’s much more popular than you might think. More than 30 percent of young people are “sexting”, sending nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves through text message. And all too often, those pictures end up in the wrong hands.

For many, texting is a quick and easy form of communication. But the same technology making our lives easier, comes with a dark side.

“So much of our culture is sexually-oriented,” said Thomas Thomas, a sexual addiction therapist in Green Bay. “My youngest sex addict is 7 years old, and my oldest is as old as most people live.”

These days, Thomas says more and more teens are sexting. In fact, statistics show that one in ten teens have sent a naked image of themselves through text message. Thomas says it’s something that particularly affects young women.

“Their bodies are important to them,” explained Thomas. “There’s a great emphasis on them. And they believe that if somebody will see my body – particularly another male – that they will be more liked, they will be more popular… and forget that once it’s out there, it’s out there.”

Lizzy Van Krey, a student at Kimberly High School, says her friend learned that lesson the hard way.

“From a friend’s experience, she did make that wrong decision. Her boyfriend, who she thought she could trust, ended up showing those pictures to his friends,” said Van Krey.

In some cases, sexting can turn into a criminal charge. Thomas says he knows one couple who experienced just that.

“He was 19. The girl was 16,” said Thomas. “They were sexting and got into an argument. He showed her picture to other people on the internet. The parents got mad, pursued that… and now, the 19-year-old is listed as a pedophile.”

Van Krey and her friend, Sam Kilsdonk, say they know better. Now, they’re warning other teens about the dangers associated with sexting.

“It can easily get around to other people,” said Kilsdonk. “It’s a quick little text message away. We talk about sending so many text messages a month. That text message that you send to a guy or a girl that’s inappropriate can easily get sent out.”

“It’s fast. It’s an easy way to do it, and people don’t really think about that when they’re sending the pictures,” Van Krey said.

The teens say many who are in a relationship feel that sexting is something that’s expected.

“It is something that people believe they should do to show affection or show that they care,” said Van Krey.

Thomas says it has a lot to do with negative self-image.

“You don’t have to do sexting,” said Thomas. “You don’t have to have a value system that’s degrading to you just to be popular.”

When it comes to preventing sexting, Thomas says much of the responsibility falls on the parent.

“We have to take charge and be in control of what our children are doing,” he said.

Thomas says it’s important to build a trust system with your teen, and communicate with them about the things that can be difficult to talk about.

“Communicate with your child. Trust your child,” said Thomas. “If we keep that communication open, it just alleviates a lot of hurtful, painful situations for our young people.”

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Young Girls are Target of Online Predators

February 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Be sure to take a look at this report, including the video! If you are letting your kids have a computer/ webcam in their own room, you should act now! There are predators out there who target young girls to get them to take their clothes off. Don’t let your child be their next target!

Los Angeles – “Jailbait” is slang for a girl too young to have legal sex. It’s also the name of a dangerous game spreading on video chat websites.

The goal: Get young girls to take off their clothes while secretly recording them on webcam.

Gina Silva reports on “Jailbait Game” players who openly declare — and this is how one of them put it — “we’re coming for your daughters.”

Jailbait Game Targets Young Girls: MyFoxLA.com – VIDEO REPORT

Want to know how you can protect your kids from predators online? Click here for our Tech Ninja’s four simple things you can do.

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Parental stalking online is not the best solution

February 8, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We cannot put enough emphasis on the importance of TALKING to your child about online security. Some parents may think it is enough to stalk their children online, but cyber safety experts warn parents about the downfalls of stalking: Aside from abusing teens’ privacy, it also forges coded forms of communication online, using in-jokes, shared references and even song lyrics to evade parental scrutiny. Read the article below that we found on Theage.com.au:

 

PARENTS should not stalk their children online, warns Dr Danah Boyd, a leading US cyber safety expert visiting Australia to lecture on teens’ online privacy.

Described by The New York Times last month as ”a rock star emissary from the online and offline world of teenagers”, the 34-year-old New York University professor and Harvard researcher advises governments, corporations and organisations worldwide on teen communication. She is leading Microsoft’s investigation of child trafficking online, and Lady Gaga funds her bullying research through the Born This Way Foundation.

But Dr Boyd warns that constant parental online surveillance not only abuses teens’ privacy but also obliges them to forge coded forms of communication online, using in-jokes, shared references and even song lyrics to evade parental scrutiny.

”The kind of public life we see online has never existed before,” Dr Boyd told Fairfax Media ahead of her lecture at RMIT on Thursday. ”But it’s a myth that teens don’t care about privacy. It’s really impressive what teens do to find new ways to be private in public.”

When so many cyber studies warn parents of the dangers of the internet, Dr Boyd has become the voice in favour of letting children log on and learn for themselves.

”Children’s ability to roam has been destroyed,” she says. By demonising the internet, we shut down the only social space they have left. ”Being a successful adult in society requires social skills. And we desperately need to give youth space to learn them,” she said.

As the Victorian Privacy Commissioner polls Victorian teens about ”sexting” – sending revealing photos as texts – Dr Boyd supports calls for the laws classifying these photos as child pornography to be scrapped. She will be comparing US and Australian sexting laws in a study with University of New South Wales professor Kate Crawford.

”I have nothing against taking a legal stance against harassing and blackmail, but why prosecute the kids who are taking the pictures?”

She has described the pressure on parents to supervise their children’s internet habits as ”an arms race” between surveillance technology and privacy software to cloak activities.

”As kids work to be invisible to people who hold direct power over them (parents, teachers, etc), they happily expose themselves to audiences of peers,” Dr Boyd writes on her blog. ”And they expose themselves to corporations. They know that the company can see everything they send through their servers/service, but who cares? Until these companies show clear allegiance with their parents, they’re happy to assume that the companies are on their side and can do them no harm.”

Parents who want to help their children navigate an online social minefield need to educate and communicate, not berate, restrict or panic, Dr Boyd said. ”The way forward is to have open conversations, to really have a dialogue of trust … if you engage in surveillance and break that trust, you’ll teach them not to talk to you.”

In her work for the Internet Safety Technical Task Force of US state attorneys-general in 2008, Dr Boyd found the children most at risk of harm online – through cyber bullying or contact with predators – were the ones most at risk offline. Youth workers and educators should be trained to look for signs online that a teen was in trouble, Dr Boyd said, rather than assume the internet was the cause.

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What is your Internet Safety IQ?

February 7, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Take the test and find out about the things that you need to learn to keep up with your child and also become a valuable resource to your kids in all things “online safety”. The test covers many aspects of online security such as Social Networks, Online Gaming, Mobile Devices as well as Film, TV and Music.

Copyright UK Safer Internet Centre website.

©UK Safer Internet Centre

(Click on the image to take the test on the UK Safer Internet Centre website.)

Have your whole Family take the fun test and find out who’s the EXPERT! 🙂

 

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Students learn to be responsible online

February 7, 2012 by Leave a Comment

With children having access to the internet in many places and through various devices, it is important for parents to educate them about the dangers. We let them know about things like cyberbullying, online predators, and how to protect about reputation. But what is important is that our kids know that something they post or do today can affect them tomorrow. Thing on the internet are permanent – they don’t just go away. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure your child understands this. To read the full article and watch the VIDEO on how “kids’s behavior today can negatively affect their future” check out Clickondetroit.com!

 

PLYMOUTH, Mich. – Children have a lot of access to the Internet with computers, laptops, iPads and cell phones.

The Internet is a tool children can use for school and fun, but they can quickly find themselves in a dangerous situation facing predators and bullies.  They can also do and say things online that could hurt themselves and their reputation.

Seventh grade students at West Middle School in Plymouth were reminded of the dangers of the Internet during a presentation by the office of Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette.

They learned about cyber bullying, predators and how to protect their reputation.

The messages about bullying hit home for a lot of students.

“There are people out there that want to hurt other people and they, they don’t know what they are doing, and they don’t know that they’re actually hurting lives,” said seventh-grade student Mohamed Fofama.

Fofama knows how much bullying hurts. He said he was bullied.

“There was this guy who tripped me, and this girl, uh, this girl putted it on Facebook, put the video on Facebook,” said Fofama.
He told his father and the bullying stopped.

“They need to understand that just because you say something online, it needs to be something that you would have said in person. Many kids are, you know, hiding behind their gaming console or their computer screen, and they will say things and they don’t really understand the ramifications of those statements,” said West Middle School Principal Clint Smiley.

The presentation by Schuette’s office told students who face a bully to do the following:
1.Don’t to respond or retaliate.
2. Block the bully.
3. Save evidence of the bullying.
4.Tell a parent or another trusted adult what is happening.

“It was on the bus, so the bus driver knew about it too. And I had to tell my mom,” said Traver Rouse about his bullying experience.

“I have had some friends who had gotten mean text messages and they just go to an adult and tell them and everything got cleared up,” said Alyssa Salloum.

The Michigan Attorney General’s office said there are three “keeps” to teach children about staying safe online:

1. I keep safe my personal information.
2. I keep away from Internet strangers
3. I keep telling my parents or trusted adult.

Smiley said parents need to be vigilant about what they’re children are doing online to keep them away from predators and out of trouble.

“You wouldn’t let your kid go wander the streets at three in the morning of any town, so why would you let them wander the super high way?  And they are wandering those streets all the time. You know, many of the things that happen that come to school, don’t happen at four in the afternoon. They happen at two in the morning, three in the morning, four in the morning, and that concerns me because kids need sleep, but also that their parents clearly can’t be moderating them at that time of the day,” said Smiley.

The other message students received was that what they say, the pictures they text or post, can affect their future.  Whether it is an inappropriate Facebook post or sexting, children can face consequences that could affect their future chances of getting into the college they want or even a job.

They were taught to be responsible with what they do online.

“I learned not to send like an inappropriate text to other people or of yourself to other people because it will get spread around and it’s illegal and it’s a felony. You will go to jail,” said seventh-grader Joe McAllister.

The AG’s office has created an online safety contract for families to consider using.

It outlines safety measures parents and children can talk about and agree to to keep them safe.

If you would like to take a look at it, click here.  Once on that page, go to the student presentations handouts to find the contract.

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Kids are now using “codes” to hide things from their parents

February 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Just as parents are catching up with technology, our children come up with new things to make our life more difficult: They are writing in “Codes”. Now it’s on us to figure them out! This article will cover some of them, such as: BIH, GNOC, AITR or W2M… If you don’t know what these mean, read the article!!!! Also, please share some of the ones you are aware and help others learn!

In the vast number of places kids can fall into trouble on the web, parents often find it challenging to monitor what their children are doing in cyberspace. This is particularly true as the web increasingly becomes more social.
Over time chat lingo has become a part of the norm when engaging in online conversations, however, these terms rarely remain stagnant as new web speak emerges. Keeping up with all those acronyms can be difficult for parents as try and monitor what their kids are doing, especially if their children actively make an effort to try and mask what they are talking about online. Social network monitoring service SocialShield has released a list of the top terms children are using online. In a press release emailed to Digital Journal, SocialShield’s list “sheds light on the latest lingo kids are using to hold illicit, risky or secretive conversations.” The list was released this past week and includes several ‘codes’ kids use that their parents likely don’t know – and should. According to SocialShield,

“These little-known codes are part of a new lexicon being formed by children—and those who might prey on children—to communicate with each other in ways that most adults wouldn’t understand.”

The list was compiled through an analysis of commonly “flagged” terms pegged by SocialShield’s cloud-based monitoring engines which pick out terms that might be risky, illicit or dangerous. SocialShield has categorized social media terms in six different categories which are: cyberbullying, warning of parents in the room, conversations sexual in nature, cries for help, drugs and drinking, and requests to meet in person.
For many years now teens have turned to socialization online as a way to meet up with their peers and interact. However, now that parents are friending their kids on Facebook and other networks, in their eyes, this may have crossed too far over the line of what’s cool. Consider a hangout or house where parents or other adults are constantly present, teens are more likely to go to hang out in places, well, where their parents aren’t.
In response to being connected to adults online, kids may actively seek ways to slip under their parents’ radar. For instance, recently an interesting trend emerged that indicated teens were migrating to Twitterin order to escape the eyes of the adults in their lives and try and increase their privacy in virtual spaces. Other teens that are posting under the eyes of their parents are taking a different approach by adapting new lingo that their parents are not versed in.

“Many parents think friending their child on social networks is enough to monitor their activities and protect them, yet time and time again it’s shown that it isn’t,” said George Garrick, CEO of SocialShield. “Most parents don’t have the time to keep up with the sheer volume of interactions or have the understanding of the online language to really get what their kids are saying or what people are saying to their kids. This makes it really easy for problems to go unnoticed,” said Garrick.

SocialShield says the more parents connect with their kids on networks, the more frequently new terms pop up. A sampling of the top ‘coded’ terms highlighted by SocialShield in each of their six categories included:
  • Cyberbullying Terms: BIH (“Burn In Hell”); GKY (“Go Kill Yourself”); 182 (“I Hate You”)
  • Warning of Parents/Adults Nearby: POS (“Parent Over Shoulder”); AITR (“Adult In The Room”); P911 (“Parent Emergency”)
  • Sexual Terms: GNOC (“Get Naked On Cam”); TDTM (“Talk Dirty To Me”); D46 (“Down For Sex?”) • Cries for Help: IHML (“I Hate My Life”); IHTFP (“I Hate This F–king Place”); PHM (“Please Help Me”) 
  • Drugs/Drinking Terms: CRAFT (“Can’t Remember A F–king Thing”); UDI (“Unidentified Drinking Injury”
  • Meet Up Requests: MIRL (“Meet In Real Life?”); W2M (“Want To Meet?”); S2R (“Send To Receive” [Pictures]
Parents are best armed through educating themselves to keep up with current Internet trends. The terms listed are said by SocialShield to be text lingo parents should be aware of their kids potentially using. The service also continuously updates the program’s dictionary of terms as it scans social network interactions. Social Shield’s full list of terms:

Screen shot from SocialShield’s Facebook page of commonly used ‘secret words’ teens use on social networks that parents should be aware of

Read more at Digitaljournal.com

 

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Apps for Kids… There are more and more of them, but are they really good for our children???

February 4, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Nowadays the vast majority of people have smartphones, tablets or other mobile devices that enable us to access one of the millions of apps that are available. And a lot of parents have used these mobile devices to keep their kids distracted, make a long drive in the car more enjoyable or let them access some educational apps. Whatever the reason may be that we let our children “play” with these mobile devices, we have to be aware of the possible dangers of letting them do so. Be sure to read the article published on Washingtonpost.com:

 

How young is too young to use a smartphone? In a growing number of families across the country, infants and toddlers are deftly swiping and tapping away even as they wobble toward their first steps.

The swift adoption of tablets and smartphones has sparked an unprecedented explosion of software games, videos and educational programs aimed at the very youngest minds, dramatically increasing the amount of time these children are spending in front of electronic media. Experts estimate that tens of thousands of kid apps are offered on Apple and Google Android devices, with titles such as BabyPlayFace and Elmo’s Birthday.

That worries some educators and child-development experts who view the flood of baby and toddler apps with trepidation. They warn that children already spend too much time in front of TVs, DVD players and computers.

For children 2 or younger, all those screens can have a negative effect on development, according to a recent statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you really want to help boost brain power, the best solutions can be found with unstructured play, the academy said.

“Kids need laps, not apps,” said Frederick Zimmerman, an expert on media and child health and the chairman of the Department of Health Service at UCLA.

Some harried parents say they rely on the devices to prevent their child from melting down in a restaurant or an airplane or a long line at the grocery. One in five parents uses a smartphone or tablet to keep children distracted while running errands, according to Common Sense Media, a child safety advocacy group.

For Paula Mansour of Falls Church, allowing her 2-year-old, Maggie, to play a few rounds of Angry Birds as she prepares dinner helps her keep the household running smoothly and stress-free.

She monitors Maggie’s smartphone time — and that of her 6-year-old sister, Kayla — and does not see the harm in short sessions on her Samsung Galaxy a few times a day.

Aside from Angry Birds, Maggie plays with Kids Doodle and ABC Views — apps that promise to help children get an early start with preschool skills. “She’s learning and having fun,” Mansour said. “I don’t see any harm in that.”

Kid-app explosion

Just about every category of learning is covered in Apple’s and Google’s app stores. Get your toddlers to trace letters with their fingers on one of dozens of apps aimed at budding writers. Baby Sign Language teaches infants the signs for cow, foods and other objects. Math Ninja offers drills on multiplication and division.

Want to read “Humpty Dumpty” to your newborn? The Nursery Rhyme app will do that for you. BabyPlayFace has been featured in Apple’s iTunes store, with 250,000 downloads. It teaches infants first words in different languages through animated baby faces.

Apple and Google tout their mobile devices as revolutionary tools for learning and fun — and helpful distractions for the modern parent. They promote Angry Birds and Cut the Rope as children’s games that consistently rank among the most popular apps.

“Every parent could use a hand. Keep up with your kids or just keep them busy with family-friendly iPhone apps,” Apple pitches to users on its iTunes store. Apple rates apps with a minimum age of 4. Apps on Google’s Android system do not have an age minimum.

There has been no definitive study that shows whether apps on mobile devices are harmful for youths. And although lawmakers and regulators have been seeking to strengthen federal rules that protect the privacy of children online, few have examined the rapid growth of mobile content getting in front of very young eyes.

Some educators are dubious of the educational promises espoused by app developers.

 Zimmerman co-authored a report in 2007 that debunked marketing by Disney’s “Baby Einstein” DVD series touting early developmental benefits. He said it is too early to say that apps are any more effective at getting children ahead. The American Academy of Pediatrics agreed and warned against developers that advertise their products as “educational.”

More than a quarter of all U.S. parents have downloaded an app specifically geared for their child, according to a survey released this month by Common Sense Media. Children 8 and younger spend about 21 / 2 hours a day in front of a TV, computer or mobile device and about 30 minutes with books, according to the survey. That’s almost one hour more than the daily screen time for young children in 2005, the group said.

Interactive learning

Not every child-development expert is skeptical of mobile devices. Some note that smartphones and tablets offer children a far more interactive experience than parking them in front of the television. “The wrong way to think about this is not whether to turn it off or turn it on but about taking responsibility for what content gets in front of our children,” said Liz Perle, co-founder of Common Sense Media.

Sherri Richardson Burgan of Portage, Pa., is convinced that her iPad is making her toddler smarter. Two-year-old Colton won’t sit still to draw with crayons and wriggles out of his mother’s lap during story time. But on the tablet, Colton enthusiastically points to shapes, letters and colors and identifies them by name.

“A circle! I did it!” he cheers.

So, like scores of parents, Burgan has been on a frenzy downloading games, educational programs and videos for her youngest. Colton is usually on Burgan’s lap or at least nearby when he is on the iPad, so she does not put any limits on his time using the tablet.

The apps will “let him reach his full potential,” said Burgan, a stay-at-home parent with three older sons. “He got it right away. He knows how to turn on the iPad, find his favorite apps and get started.”

Kid apps are among the fastest growing in Apple’s store. BabyPlayFace founder Jacob Slevin said Apple sent a team to New York to meet him last week to help improve the app, which he hopes to expand into various baby body parts. Parents have sent him video testimonials from around the world, saying how much they love the app.

Slevin does not have children. He is not an educator. But he did help his younger sister with speech therapy exercises, and he is a tech enthusiast who sees no limit to the potential of apps.

“My pediatrician is now a consultant for us and is replacing all the silly toys in his waiting room with iPads,” he said.

But before one tosses out toys for tablets, parents should remember that nothing beats real-life learning, said Howard Gardner, a professor of cognition and education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.

And parents are modeling their own smartphone addictions to a whole generation of children growing up with apps, he said.

Gardner’s advice for those parents who want to get their kids ahead: walks in the woods, visits to museums and building with tinker toys. “You can’t replace the human imagination,” he said. “There’s no app for that.”

 


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Top 10 Tips for Online Game Safety

February 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Our children are growing up in an age of technology. As we all know there are many benefits to it, but unfortunately some downfalls as well… If your child is into all the new technologies, chances are they will participate in online gaming. Be sure to read these tips to protect your kids – and feel free to share with us how make sure your kids are safe! Here are the top 10 tips according to Gametheoryonline.com:


At first glance, the Internet’s online virtual world seems like a vast, untamed frontier. That’s not a bad comparison. The ‘net is a wondrous and hugely useful tool for learning and entertainment, including playing games, but it can also be a pretty rough place for kids to dwell if they don’t stay within certain boundaries.

Simply forbidding your child to go online is not an option either: The Internet is an extremely important reservoir of knowledge, and is as culturally and materially relevant as televisions, phones and libraries in a modern sociological context. Rather than attempt to ban online usage, parents should instead establish safe browsing habits in their home and instill them in their children as soon as possible.

When we prepare our kids for the outside world, we tell them not to take presents from strangers, and to look both ways before crossing the street. In the online world, the same common sense rules apply. Here and 10 hints and tips for online gaming safety that can help you keep kids safe while enjoying their favorite free, downloads and massively multiplayer online (MMO) games, not to mention ensure a more enjoyable Internet multiplayer experience for all.

Never Share Personal Data and Information Online: This is one of the most important keys to helping kids stay safe on the Internet (and it’s a good bit of advice for adults, too). Parents should warn their children that personal information such as name, address, age, etc. should never be given out to strangers through email, chat clients, instant messages or any other means. Birthdays, locations and personal preferences can all be used to facilitate fraud or identity theft, while criminals, thieves and sexual predators can also take advantage of personal info to plan crimes, locate victims and fool unsuspecting innocents. Bear in mind: Even a seemingly innocent status update on Facebook, Twitter or a favorite MMO about your impending trip to Hawaii can act as a billboard to potential robbers, letting them know when you’ll be away and your house and valuables left unguarded.

Monitor Computer Time and Usage: By placing computers or consoles in public home areas such as the living room, and spending time together online playing games, parents can get a better idea of their kid’s browsing habits and hangouts. It’s much harder to hide unhealthy activity when you’re familiar with children’s preferences and preferred venues, and able to keep an active eye on their PC or video game system usage patterns.

Employ Kid-Friendly Internet Web Browser Add-ons: Add-ons (downloadable programs) for popular web browsers such as Internet Explorer, Chrome and Firefox, e.g. KidZui and Glubble, can quickly be installed to make Internet browsing safe and fun. These add-ons – which can filter questionable sites and videos, block inappropriate online content, and limit access to parent, teacher and educator approved resources – are easy to find, simple to use, and give parents peace of mind while their kids browse the Internet. As children mature and learn better online habits, switching back to regular browsing is as simple as inputting a password.

Set Time Limits: Especially for very young children, it’s a good idea to establish specific times when computer usage is allowed, preferably when parents can keep an eye on what’s being done. Generally, kids and young teens shouldn’t be on the computer when the rest of the family is asleep, especially on a school night, or using it for hours on end when they should be doing homework instead. Thankfully, most Mac and Windows PC operating systems allow you to set hours on which certain users are permitted to use the computer. If said user tries to gain access during a forbidden hour, he or she will be barred and logged out automatically. Setting specific time limits can also foster healthy dialogue amongst parents and kids, helping all encourage a healthier lifestyle and better balance of leisure activities.

Educate Yourself: There are a great deal of free online games, virtual worlds and multiplayer gaming amusements on the Internet, but not all of them are appropriate for kids. As ever, an ounce of prevention outweighs a pound of cure, as firsthand knowledge is a parent’s most powerful tool in the battle to enable Internet safety and promote healthy online gaming habits. So do yourself a favor: Get to know what your child is playing, and familiarize yourself with the game’s safety rules. Most online virtual words have a “For Parents” section that outlines moderation policies, and some online games even let parents hook up their own accounts to their kids’ accounts so that parents can moderate playtime. Learning more about your children’s favorite games won’t just better equip you to handle the challenges that come with online gaming. It also provides a ready excuse to spend time with your kids over a positive bonding activity that all can enjoy, and better understand their personal preferences, motivations and interests.

Talk About Safe Online Spending: Many digital diversions from MMOs to virtual worlds and free to play online games offer special items and exclusive levels for a small, optional fee on the back-end. (These bite-sized digital impulse buys, known as “microtransactions,” are primarily how most free online games fund their projects). Talk to your kids about online spending, and make sure they understand both how it works, and that they need your permission before making purchases.

Use Parental Controls: Most PCs, Internet browsers and video game systems offer easy-to-use Parental Controls software settings that can restrict a child’s usage of these devices and help keep them away from unsightly or questionable content. Check your PC’s control panel, or your web browser or video game console’s Settings and/or Preferences for more information on these features.

Supervise Online, Multiplayer and Real-World Interaction: The Internet is remarkable in that it lets us make friends from around the world, and connect and play with them in real-time. Occasionally, luckier players even get to hold a real-life meeting with the buddies they make online. These meetings are a thrill, but they should never happen without a third party at-hand to make sure everything turns out safe – and that advice extends to adults meeting online friends for the first time, too. Should you wish to avoid strangers entirely, many games also provide options to turn off voice and text chat, and limit online play to pre-approved friend lists. Suffice it to say that in many cases, levels of online multiplayer interaction, and resulting real-world contact, can be custom tailored to your personal level of comfort. Any instances of questionable, immoral or abusive online behavior can also be reported to online moderations and authorities, who provide in-game supervision.

Investigate Digital Gifts and Suspicious Activities: Online shopping lets us order cool stuff from around the world, including virtual goods that only exist on the computer and thousands of real-world treats that can be sent to friends using retailers like Amazon.com. But if your child suddenly starts receiving odd messages, communications at strange hours and/or email from strangers – let alone packages from unfamiliar addresses or gift boxes from online stores without first consulting you about a purchase – it’s best to look into the source. Caution is, as ever, the watchword.

Above All Else, Communicate with Kids: Be open and talk to your child about his or her online adventures. Discuss the websites he or she likes to visit, ask about the friends they make, and address any questions or concerns he or she may have. Don’t be afraid to discuss difficult issues such as cyberbullying, heated arguments and handling queries from total strangers as well. Avoid being judgmental: The goal is to foster open and constructive dialogue that leads to better understanding and communication on both sides of the table. After all, when it comes to the Internet’s vast and uncharted online world, for both parents and kids alike, you can never be too prepared.

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The pre-teen Facebook dilemma

February 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Facebook allows children above 13 to create an account… But we constantly come across profiles of people that are below that limit. While there are many heated discussions going on about the positive and negative aspects of Facebook and debates about it being a “good site” for kids, a recent survey showed that 78 percent of the parents either know or approve of their underage kids getting onto Facebook… What is your opinion? Is it right for parents to “lead by example” by breaking the rules??? Read the article from Pittsburghlive.com and tell us what you think…

 

In a recent girls’ group led by Melissa Sullivan at Eden Hall Upper Elementary School, the fifth-grade girls, ages 10 and 11, mainly wanted to talk about something they’re not supposed to know much about: Facebook.

Several of them already have profiles.

Pre-teens are supposed to be barred from setting up accounts, but reality differs. According to Facebook rules, users must be at least 13. But, when kids need only to fudge their birth date, getting on Facebook can be easy.

Sometimes, parents help their underage kids open an account, Sullivan says. Other kids sneak to open an account, sometimes under an alias, and hope their parents don’t find out. Sullivan sees many kids — more girls than boys — who are either on Facebook or trying to convince their parents to let them on. Parents often give in to the peer pressure because of older siblings and other family members on Facebook, and they don’t want their younger kids to miss out on the fun.

Not a great idea for all

Let the younger kids miss out, advises Sullivan, counselor at the Gibsonia school, where kids attend weekly lessons about bullying and other stresses. The dangers and downsides of Facebook far eclipse the benefits for pre-teen kids, she says, and even younger teens who join the social-networking site are opening a Pandora’s box.

“Are fifth-graders emotionally mature and equipped enough to handle the world of Facebook? My answer is a resounding no,” she says. “Even 13-year-olds, I think, are too young.”

Pre-teens and young teens tend to be impulsive and lack discretion about what is appropriate to post, Sullivan says. Think about your own school days and how mean kids can be, and add in the power of the Internet. That catty note you passed to a friend in sixth-grade now is an electronic post that numerous kids can see, resulting in humiliation for someone.

According to a recent study of more than 1,000 parents who have kids ages 10 to 14 living with them, 78 percent of the parents either knew or approved of their underage kids getting onto Facebook.

Jason Schultz, co-author of the study published in November 2011 in the “First Monday” online journal, says he wasn’t surprised by the results. However, he says that the minimum-age Facebook rule forces parents and kids to lie about their age.

The rule resulted from the federal Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, which requires commercial websites to obtain parental consent before collecting data from children under 13. Facebook opted to avoid dealing with laws about parental consent and privacy protections by setting 13 as the minimum age, Schultz says.

Facebook officials in California did not respond to a request for an interview.

Who makes the rules anyway?

Parents, not the government or a website, should be deciding the rules for their children, and parents should be flexible, Schultz says. Denying kids Facebook access can create a power struggle.

“The more we can encourage parents to work with their children instead of against them when it comes to new technologies … over the long term, we’re going to have better parent-child relationships,” says Schultz, an assistant clinical professor of law at the University of California at Berkeley. “It’s very unfortunate that parents are put in this position. No parent wants to encourage their child to lie.”

Sullivan disagrees. She sees many students who are devastated by bullying or other stress from actions on Facebook. Parents should protect and simplify their children’s lives by not allowing Facebook use until the kids are teens.

She urges parents faced with the argument –“But everyone else is doing it” — to respond with: “I need to take care of you, and I know it’s difficult to be left out. If you’re a good, kind friend, people will want to be your friend whether you’re on Facebook or not.”

Missy Kurpakus of Sarver, has two teens — Kasey, 17, and Keegan, 16 — who are on Facebook. But neither of her younger girls — Corinne, 13, and Chloe, 11 — are allowed to join yet.

“I’ve just seen too much trouble with middle schoolers with it,” says Kurpakus, 44, who works as a physical education and health teacher in Natrona Heights. “Children will say very nasty things and post things that they shouldn’t.”

Jenifer Amundson, 45, of Greensburg, and her husband, Jon, allowed their daughter, Rachel, on to Facebook when she was still 12. But she was nearing the end of sixth grade, which is middle school in the Greensburg Salem School District. The Amundsons carefully instructed Rachel, now 13, about what is appropriate and inappropriate to post.

“As long as we, as parents, discuss the limits and expectations … Facebook can be used as a positive way of communication,” Jenifer Admundson says. She, herself, doesn’t use Facebook, the concept of which she calls ridiculous. “We, as adults, have to monitor and really be clear.

“Can you imagine those notes you used to pass around in middle school … being posted out there for all to see?”

However, Admundson cautions parents: After the Facebook genie comes out of the bottle, you can’t put it back.

“If my husband and I had to do this all over again, I would not have said OK to this,” she says. Her fifth-grade son, Reid, 10, is not interested in Facebook. “I truly don’t think these children are ready cognitively, emotionally and socially.

“Now, I could not take my daughter’s Facebook away.”

 

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February 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment

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