The Horrors of Cyberbullying

Another sad example of what people are capable of doing… Dr. Manny Alvarez contibuted the following story on Fox News:

Cyber-bullying highlighted in death of 9-year-old girl

It was with a heavy heart that I read Thursday about the death of Kathleen Edwards, a 9 -year-old girl from Michigan with Huntington’s disease.  Kathleen’s story received national attention when, in October 2010, she was cruelly taunted by her grandmother’s next door neighbor.

The neighbor, Jennifer Petkov, posted pictures on Facebook of Kathleen’s face with her eyes closed and a pair crossed bones beneath them, and a picture of Kathleen’s mother and the Grim Reaper. Petkov was reportedly in a feud at the time with Kathleen’s family.

This story really affected me when it came out because I could not believe that in the face of a child who was suffering from a very devastating disease, a person could be so insensitive as to cyberbully her and make her life harder.

It also reminded me of the challenges that many children with disabilities face, especially in the age of social media.  As you all know, I have an autistic child, so I always worry about other people taking advantage of or harassing him for his challenges.

Every day, I try to teach my children to respect others.  I tell them if they don’t understand something, they should learn more about what’s going on first, before making any comments.

Huntington’s disease is a severe neurodegenerative disease.  It’s passed down through families as a genetic defect on chromosome 4.  The defect causes a part of the DNA to repeat itself many more times than it is supposed to and results in the brain wasting away.

While Huntington’s usually affects people between the ages of 30 and 40, the longer it is passed down a family line, the earlier it begins to present itself – meaning it can eventually affect young children like Kathleen.

The disease can cause a number of severe symptoms, including hallucinations, behavioral disturbances and abnormal movements of the body.    Eventually, the patient descends into dementia, and finally, death.  There are currently no treatments or cures.

That’s why I was outraged to hear what Kathleen had to suffer through, in addition to her disease.

Parents, please talk to your children about bullying. Talk to your children about compassion for others.  And tell the story of little Kathleen Edwards, a brave and beautiful child that could teach many of us a thing or two about life.

Cyberbullying – A Global Problem

We hear it on tv, on the radio, and read about it online… Cyberbullying is something that can affect anyone… And it’s a problem all over the world! Read the following study results we found on MSNBC.


NEW YORK — More than 10 percent of parents around the world say their child has been cyberbullied and nearly one-fourth know a youngster who has been a victim, according to a new Ipsos/Reuters poll.

And more than three-quarters of people questioned in the global survey thought cyberbullying differed from other types of harassment and warranted special attention and efforts from parents and schools.

“The data clearly shows an appetite among global citizens for a targeted response to cyberbullying,” said Keren Gottfried, of the global research firm Ipsos, which conducted the poll.

But, she added, whether or not schools live up to this mandate is in the hands of educators.

The online poll of more than 18,000 adults in 24 countries, 6,500 of whom were parents, showed the most widely reported vehicle for cyberbullying was social networking sites likes Facebook, which were cited by 60 percent.

Mobile devices and online chat rooms were a distant second and third, each around 40 percent.

While the report showed that awareness of cyberbullying was relatively high, with two-thirds saying they heard, read or had seen information on the phenomenon, cultural and geographic differences abounded.

In Indonesia, 91 percent said they knew about cyberbullying, in which a child, group of children or younger teen intentionally intimidates, threatens or embarrasses another child or group through the use of information technology such as social media or mobile devices.

Australia followed at 87 percent, while Poland and Sweden trailed slightly behind. But only 29 percent in Saudi Arabia, and 35 percent in Russia, had heard of cyberbullying.

In the United States, where cases of cyberbullying have been widely reported to have been linked to teen-age suicides, the figure was 82 percent.

Gottfried described the survey as the first global study of its kind and a benchmark to where assessments of cyberbullying vary.

“The key to this study is that it measures parental awareness of cyberbullying, not actual rates of the behavior,” she said. “While we can’t speculate on what actually happens, it is quite possible that the proportion of children actually being cyberbullied is in fact understated, since we are speaking with the parents, not the kids.”

In India 32 percent of parents said their child had experienced cyberbullying, followed by 20 percent in Brazil and 18 percent in Canada and Saudi Arabia and 15 percent in the United States.

The highest incidence of people knowing of a child in the community being targeted was in Indonesia, with 53 percent. But only 14 percent there said their child had been cyberbullied — less than in Canada, Brazil, Saudi Arabia and the United States.

Overall, parents in France and Spain reported some of the lowest incidence of cyberbullying either of their own child or one in their community.

Gottfried said that future studies could show whether there was a trend toward greater awareness of cyberbullying, and shed some light on what affects parental awareness.

The complete list of results and countries can be found at http://www.ipsosglobaladvisor.com/

10 Ways Technology Makes Bullying Worse

Bullying is a serious issue… Bit it can be so much worse if the offender can hide behind the anonymity that technology can provide. Read what we found on Fulltimenanny.com about the ways technology makes bullying worse:

When we were growing up there were bullies.  Nobody liked to be bullied, but it was a fact of life that you had to deal with kids that weren’t very nice.  Now, schools are so anti-bullying that anything that even slightly seems like bullying is taken very seriously.  At least when we were growing up they didn’t have Facebook to upload embarrassing videos to that would ruin a person’s life.  Check out 10 ways technology makes bullying worse.

  1. Facebook: Embarrassing pictures and videos can be uploaded to Facebook in a matter of a few seconds and ruin someone’s life forever.  Kids do not understand the damage that something like that can do to a person.  People have actually committed suicide because of events like these.
  2. Cell phones: Growing up we did not have cell phones.  Kids these days have the ability to take pictures at a moment’s notice and sometimes not in the most appropriate places.  Nude pictures of students in the shower or in the locker room have also caused suicides.
  3. Texting: Kids can bully by texting now.  They can text everyone else at the same time something bad or embarrassing about someone else.  They can also send pictures over their phone to everyone on their contact list.  Bullying like this can make someone’s life miserable.
  4. Flip cameras: These cameras are used to shoot quick videos at close range and can be uploaded to the Internet.  Kids that want to bully just have to take embarrassing videos of a student and share them with everyone.  Or a video can be sent to a parent as well that would get them grounded or in trouble.
  5. You Tube: A lot of good things have happened to people by posting a video on You Tube, but a lot of bad stuff has happened too.  People love to be the first one to dish the dirt on someone else.  They witness a fight they grab their cell phone and upload it to You Tube.  Or they set someone up and post what they think is a funny video to You Tube, but it’s actually very embarrassing.  People don’t think they are bullying when they do this stuff, but they really are.
  6. Gaming systems: Many online gaming systems allow conversations between the players.  Teens have reported that someone pretending to be them said mean things or embarrassing things to another person.  This kind of bullying is hard to stop and hard to track.  It does however cause a lot of problems for today’s teens.
  7. Blogs: There are teens that create blogs that post the latest gossip about people and will say nasty things about people.  Teens feel that they are anonymous and that no one can tell who is doing the bullying, but there are ways to track down who’s doing it and there are some big consequences.  If the bullying leads to a suicide the teen who is behind the bullying can be brought up on charges and sent to jail.  Lesser sentences are losing privileges to use a computer for 2 years.  Try doing your homework without a computer these days.
  8. Chat sites: Other sites online have chat rooms where teens can go and chat with their friends online.  People can go into these chat rooms and make up a user name and start saying bad things about kids in that chat room.  Many times there is a chat room that the students frequent because all their friends go there so when someone bullies in a chat room a lot of that kid’s peer group could be reading it.
  9. E-mail: Bullies steal identities and will sign into an e-mail account and send damaging e-mails pretending to be that teen.  Inappropriate messages to a female teacher or a nasty message to the principal are all things that can really get that child in trouble and they didn’t do anything.  Remind your child to keep passwords absolutely private.
  10. Instant messaging: Bullies will try to send nasty instant messages threatening to do something to a teen when they see them next.  Or tell them that they are going to make sure that they don’t get something they want at school like a part in the play or a solo in choir.  Bullying can take many forms even if it’s just telling someone that they did a terrible job on their audition or they overheard someone important say that they did a terrible job.  Anything like that is going to put undue stress on that child.  Make sure that your child is aware and being safe.

Protecting Your Online Reputation

Be sure to check out what information is posted about you and your family online… Have you ever found some information that wasn’t supposed to be there? Here’s a great article from WBTV that will help you determine what information about you and your loved ones can be found online…

CHARLOTTE, NC (WBTV) –  We all know the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”  What if the names go global across the internet and now you or your kids have a bad reputation online that carries into your off-line life?

If any of you have used a service like eBay or Amazon, you have seen a rating of the buyers and sellers out there.  This gives you an idea of who to stay away from online when you are buying and selling something.

What if someone posted something negative about you or your child and now people stay away from you?  You don’t need to be a victim.

There are different ways for you to spot an issue and to deal with it.  Former White House cyber security expert Theresa Payton explains how you can deal with negative online postings about you.

Step Number One:  Start by searching your own name and the names of everyone in your family.  Try to read the results as a complete stranger.  Then I ask them, “Would you hire you?  Would you date you?  Would you marry you?  Would you want to do business with you?”

Sometimes the posts seem out of your control because someone else posted them.  But you are not completely helpless.  You can take control.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF

FOR THE DO IT YOURSELF – FREE OPTIONS

There are 4 easy steps you can take to be A.L.E.R.T. about your online reputation:

1)     A:  Automated Alerts.  Go to Google Alerts and set up a daily or weekly alert to let you know every time something hits the web with your name or your kids name.

2)     L:  Look yourself up in your favorite or multiple search engines.  Try www.Google.com, www.Bing.com, www.Yahoo.com .

3)     E:  Erase & Eliminate.  If you see postings you created that are not flattering, erase those.  If you see content you do not like posted by your friends, for example a crazy party you attended, ask them nicely to eliminate those.

4)     R:  Register your FirstNameLastName.com so that you own your name as a website and post information there.

5)     T:  Type postings that are either on your favorite hobby or your profession and post them on places such as www.Facebook.com, www.Twitter.com, www.LinkedIn.com, or even on your own blog. You own the content, the frequency, and your own network of friends and professionals can give you ratings there that others can view.  You can also use the free service, http://claimid.com to set up a profile about you.

PAID SERVICES

For those that prefer to pay a service to manage this for you, there are many options available to you.
First, decide your budget that you are willing to pay.
We are highlighting 4 options that you can research to see if they are a good fit for you.
These can help you, your kids, and your company:

ReputationDefender:  www.reputationdefender.com

They have many services, including a monthly service that mines the web to find references about you and advisors who can help you to weed out the bad and the inaccurate.  They also have a MyChild service targeted specifically for kids and how they and their friends use the internet.

Safety Net:  www.socialmediamanagement.net has several services.  They have one to protect your children and one that can focus on you or your company.

Designed for Businesses:

Reputation Hawk:  www.reputationhawk.com

DigitalStakeout:  www.digitalstakeout.com

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE A VICTIM

If the postings are false and you cannot get the negative postings down, you may have legal rights.  Talk to legal counsel about your case to see if laws regarding protections from  defamation, cyber stalking, or cyber bullying apply to your case.
Follow our A.L.E.R.T. tips on managing your online reputation.  It will take time, but those negative posts will begin to drop off the search results.

 

RESOURCES:

claimID:  ClaimID was created at UNC Chapel Hill in the computer department.  They wanted to provide a free way to help people manage their online identity.  Go to http://claimid.com

Understanding Social Media:  www.Mashable.com

Book That Explains How to Manage Your Reputation Online:  http://meandmywebshadow.com

Sue Scheff, Parent Advocate has helpful podcasts and articles about internet defamation.  Try:  http://suescheffpodcasts.com/  or http://suescheffblog.com/

Google Alert Set Up:  http://www.google.com/alerts